Your Happiness, Your Responsibility
"You are the only one who can make you happy." We have all heard that so many times in our lives.
There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won't allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.
However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile, that is happiness. You know those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels... YOUR ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.
As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us, us)... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our Happiness.
So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.
How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn't like and set about making changes. It doesn't have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can't afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven't had a vacation for awhile and just can't afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.
Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.
You may be saying, 'Sure, that sounds so easy but...' Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.
If your unHappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.
Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don't like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!
美文阅读:Write Your Own Life 书写你的生命
生命多姿多彩，快乐的，悲伤的，由自己决定；就如手中紧握着一只笔，想要什么蓝图，由自己书写。
Write Your Own Life
书写你的生命
Suppose someone gave you a pen — a sealed, solid-colored couldn’t seehow much ink it had.
假设有人给了你一枝笔，一枝密封的、纯色的水笔，里面有多少墨水你看不到。
It might run dry after the first few tentative words or last just long enough to create a masterpiece (or several) that would last forever and make a difference in the scheme of don’t know before you begin.
很可能刚刚试写几字便用干耗尽；也可能足以完成一部或几部杰作，永存于世，使世事为之大变。
Under the rules of the game, you really never have to take a chance!
而这一切你在动笔之前却是一无所知。根据游戏的规则，你确实永远也不会知道，只能冒一下险。
Actually, no rule of the game states you must do anything. Instead of picking up and using the pen, you could leave it on a shelf or in a drawer where it will dry up, unused.
而事实上，也没有规则说你就一定要做些什么。你大可以把笔搁在架子上、放在抽屉里，弃置不用，任墨水蒸发干净。
But if you do decide to use it, what would you do with it? How would you play the game?
然而，如果你真的决定使用，你会做什么？怎么来做这个游戏？
Would you plan and plan before you ever wrote a word?
你会左计划、右计划，然后才慢慢下笔吗？
Would your plans be so extensive that you never even got to the writing?
计划会不会太泛太多，根本就达不到写作这一步？
Or would you take the pen in hand, plunge right in and just do it, struggling to keep up with the twists and turns of the torrents of words that take you where they take you?
会不会提笔在手，迫不及待地投入其中，任由手中的笔、笔下的字带着你在词海中上下翻腾、左突右冲？
Would you write cautiously and carefully, as if the pen might run dry the next moment, or would you pretend or believe (or pretend to believe) that the pen will write forever and proceed accord gly?
会不会下笔谨小慎微，似乎墨水随时都将干涸？会不会假装或相信、或假装相信笔中墨水永不会枯竭，任你挥洒？
And of what would you write: Of love? Hate? Fun? Misery? Life? Death?Nothing Everything?
你会写些什么？爱情？仇恨？乐趣？痛苦？生命？死亡？虚无空空抑或世事万种？
Would you write to please just yourself? Or others? Or yourself by writing for others?
是会用来自娱？还是取悦他人？还是为人写作而愉悦自身？
Would your strokes be tremblingly timid or brilliantly bold? Fancy with a flourish or plain?
你的一笔一划会颤抖怯懦还是亮丽大胆？花里胡哨还是朴实无华？
Would you even write? Once you have the pen, no rule says you have to write. Would you sketch? Scribble? Doodle or draw?
你确实会去写吗？你一旦有了这枝笔，却也没有规则说你一定就要去写。你会粗粗写来？潦潦草草？信手涂鸦？还是认真描画？
Would you stay in or on the lines, or see no lines at all, even if they were there? Or are they? There’s a lot to think about here, isn’t there?
你会写在线里还是写在线上，或者对纸上的线格根本就视而不见？真的有什么线格吗？此时此刻，有很多东西值得思考，不是吗？
Now, suppose someone gave you a life...
那么，假设有人给了你一次生命……
美文赏析:Next happiness,when will come？下一班幸福，几点开？
下一站会更幸福吗？没有人知道。那只是我们美好的愿望而已。如果这一刻感觉是对的，请珍惜。把握现在远比憧憬未来更实际。
Next happiness,when will come？
下一班幸福，几点开？
Life is full of confusing and disordering Particular time, a particular location, Do the arranged thing of ten million time in the brain, Step by step , the life is hard to avoid delicacy and stiffness No enthusiasm forever, No unexpected happening of surprising and pleasing So, only silently ask myself in mind Next happiness, when will come?
人生的纷纷扰扰，杂杂乱乱， 在一个特定的时间，特定的地点， 做脑海中安排了千万遍的事， 一步一骤，人生难免精致，却也死板， 永远没有激情，没有意料之外的惊喜。 于是，也只有在心里默默地问： 下一班幸福，几点开？
When our family relationship, friendship, love and personal relationship became four cups different thick and Subtle tea, At push a cup to change, always have absentminded hesitation: Which on earth cup that is supposed to be first degusted in the best taste time ,which final cup ? Then the different person always have a different choice. Big customs under of the small customs is always not allowed, stick to a final twist, always wish to obtain an additional happiness
当我们的亲情、友情、爱情和私情变成了四杯浓淡不一的茶， 在推杯换盏间，总有恍惚的迟疑： 究竟哪一杯该在味道最好的时候先品，哪一杯该排到最后呢？ 然后不同的人总有不同的选择。 大世俗下的小世俗总是不被允许， 坚持到最后，总会获得一份额外的幸福。
Dark light, just light each other. The responsibility that you and my shoulders take together, the such as one dust covers up. Afraid only afraid the light is suddenly put out in theendless dark night and Countless loneliness
暗黄的灯光，仅仅也只能照射过彼此。 你、我肩上共同担当的责任，犹如一片灰尘遮掩。 怕只怕灯丝的突然熄灭在这无尽的黑夜.数不尽的孤单
Always insisting. Use iron scoop is too cold; Use porcelain scoop is too weak; A wood scoop, engraved veins safely, engraved sky’s wasteland and glebe’s old. Just as happiness born in the years, not insolent, the every act and move blooms quietly
一直坚持着。用铁勺太冰冷；用瓷勺又太脆弱； 一只只木勺，刻出了纹理安然，刻出了天荒地老。 一如岁月中隐忍着的幸福，不张狂，举手投足间悄然绽放
Hope is always more expect, engrave a bone is a fat lot looked Clear can touch, just don t know where end is. Can not find to come to the road of hour, just because of eying foot too very carefully.
希望总是多过盼望，刻骨而又络络可见， 清晰可触，只是不知道终结在哪儿。 找不到来时的路，只是因为太小心翼翼的注视脚下。
Then the wandering soul wild crane stands still the memory river Listen to whistle play tightly ring slowly, Water rises a ship to go medium long things of the past. Wait for a ship’s person Wait for one and other, But hesitate always should ascend which ship Missed Had to consign the hope to next time, Finally what to wait for until has no boats and ships to come and go, Sunset west .
再孤魂野鹤的伫立记忆河头， 听着哨子的紧奏慢响， 水涨船行中的悠悠往事。 等船的人儿， 等了一班又一班， 却始终犹豫着该登哪一只。 错过的， 只好把希望寄托到了下一回， 终究等到的是没有船只的过往， 日落西头 。
Six words really talk to solve each round to return to bitterness. Heart of lotus opens, body side of genial breezes walks. Constantly, only one pond water. Ripple but have no language, guarded happiness of this pond. This is from cradle to the grave one a life time
六字真言解每一个轮回苦。 心头荷花开，身畔暖风走。 不变的，只有那一池水。 荡漾而无语，守住了这一池的幸福。 这就是一生一世
Happiness is so much simple, on your center of palm, a match a hand can grasp; Happiness is also very difficult, before your heel, A thousand mountains and rivers but blunder away because of Doing not turn a head
幸福好简单，就在你手心上，一合手就能握住； 幸福又好难，就在你脚跟前， 千山万水却因没有转头而错失
Never believe, next will be better, Blunder away, never repair return of regret. Even met the god of shining in a dream, Never ask: "Next happiness, when will come?"
千万不要相信，下一个会更好， 错失了，就是补不回的遗憾。 即使在梦中，遇见了那熠熠的神明， 也永远不要问：“下一班幸福，几点开 ？"
美文背诵:The way to lift up your mood 改善心绪的方法
大多数人都有不开心的经历，有的人可以很快走出来，有的人却被封锁在自己的过去，无法自拔。情绪的好坏直接影响到我们的生活。无论你有多么难过，都要告诉自己，过去的都过去了，现在和未来才重要，不要让情绪掌控自己~
The way to lift up your mood
改善心绪的方法
The Everyone has periods in their lives when everything seems very hard, when
there’s nobody to talk to and the mood is just getting worse and worse. But
why sit and think howpathetic you are? There are some things that may help you
lift up your mood. If it fails you, at least while doing these things you won
’t have time to think of your problems. You win anyway!
每一个人在其生活当中，都有这样的一个时期：一切事都是那么不顺心，没有人可
以交流，心绪变得越来越糟糕。但是，为什么你坐在这儿总是想着你是多么的可怜呢？这
儿有些方法能帮助你改善你的心绪。假如这些方法都不起作用的话，至少，当你在做这些
事的时候，你就没有时间来想你的问题。无论如何，我们是赢家！
The first thing you should try is socializing and thinking positively. It
’s very hard, because usually when we feel depressed we lock ourselves at
home and try to think about all the bad character issues we have. But if you’
ll try to force yourself and call a friend for a cup of coffee, the chances
for changing your mood into better are very good. Just try to avoid bad
thoughts. Instead, try to think only about the bright side of your life. Don’
t forget: We are what we think we are.
第一件事就是：你应该融入人群并想积极的方面。这很难，因为通常当我们感到失
望时，我们就会把自己锁在家里，试图想着我们自身的不好的品质。但是，如果你强迫你
自己邀请朋友一起去喝一杯咖啡，让自己有个机会去改变心绪，这是非常好的。避免坏的
想法，相反，你应该想象你生活中那些精彩的一面，不要忘了：我们是我们所想象成的那
样。
You should also try doing something only for yourself, something totally
selfish. This could be something you wanted for a long time: maybe a short
trip, a coat, a ring or anything that could lift up your mood. This doesn’t
have to be extravagant nor costly. The point of all this is being good to
yourself.
你应该做一些专门为你自己做的事，完全是为你自己的。这可能是你一段时间以来你
所想要的东西：可能是短途旅行、一件衣服、一个戒指或者是任何能改善你心绪的东西。
这不必是非常奢侈的，也不必是非常昂贵的，只要它们有对你有好处的一面。
Not only giving presents to yourself can lift up your mood. Buying things
to others may be a perfect way to feel happy. Think of your friends, family,
relatives or even local charities，choose one person and give him a gift. It
doesn’t have to be something expensive nor big. It may be just a little toy
to your poor neighbor’s child. Making another person feel happy will make you
feel good in your heart and mind.
买礼物给自己不仅仅能改善你的心绪，买东西给别人也是一个使你感到高兴的极好
方法。想想你的朋友、家庭、亲戚，甚至当地的慈善机构，选择一个人并给他买礼物。这
不必是什么昂贵的或大的东西。这也可能是给家庭贫困的邻居的小孩买的一个小玩具。使
他人高兴也能快乐自己。
Renting a good or happy film is always a good idea. Laughter is a very
good panacea for all kinds of illness!
租一部好的或搞笑的电影也是一个好注意，笑能治百病。
Meeting a positive person should be very useful. Just try to keep your
problems off the conversation. The idea here is to get out of your shell and
have some interaction. Get involved with someone else and your mind will take
a turn as well.
与一个积极的人交流也是有用的，在谈话中避开你的问题。这个理念就是：走出你
自己的圈子并与他人多些交流。多与他人在一起，你的观点和想法也会转变的'。
Most bad moods and mental attitudes are the result of something that had
happened to us in the past. It is vital to your mind, soul, body and your life
on the whole that you stay in the present with all your thoughts and feelings.
Try to concentrate on the present and future to make your life better in every
possible way.
大多数不好的心绪和心理状态是过去的事情发生的结果。总体上，你认识到你所有的
想法和情感是生活在现在，这对你的心理、灵魂、身体和你生命是非常重要的。把你的精
力放在现在和未来吧，用各种方法使你的生活变得更美好。
Taking a walk in a crowded place is also one of the ways out. Seeing other
people, understanding that each of them also has days like this should force
you to do something that would change the situation.
在拥挤的人群中散步也是一种好的方法。看看别人，想想他们也有与你类似的时期，
那么，你就应该做一些能改变情形的事。
If you have too much time—volunteer it. We usually think that the
problems we have are huge, although if you’ll try to go to hospital，you’ll
see that there are a lot of people who have more severe problems. Moreover，
you’ll see that people are still working, smiling, and laughing. This kind of
work will definitely help you understand that your problems are very small and
maybe even funny.
如果你有很多的时间，去做志愿者吧。我们通常认为我们的问题是非常巨大的，一
旦你去了医院，你将会看到这儿有许多的人，他们的问题更严重。然而，这些人仍然在工
作、在开心地笑。你将会认识到你的问题是多么渺小和多么可笑。
Try to meditate while listening to relaxation music. It helps to
concentrate your mind and relax your body.
当你在听音乐的时候，试图思考一些问题，这有助于你集中精神和放松身体。
Don’t forget to be creative! Because creating things alters our mood.
Creating doesn’t include only painting or playing an instrument, it also
includes cooking, sewing, writing， photographing and many other activities.
While concentrating on creating you will forget how you have been feeling.
不要忘了创意！因为创造一些东西也能改变我们的心绪，创造不仅仅包括绘画和演奏
乐器，它还包括做饭、缝纫、写作、摄影和其他的一些活动。当我们集中精力创造时，我
们就会忘掉我们曾经的情感。
All you have to do is to take control of your emotions and make them
positive in spite of letting them control you. Making yourself feel better isn
’t that hard, it’s hard only to start doing something that would lift up
your mood.
所有我们必须要做的就是：控制我们的情绪并使它们积极起来，而不是让它们来控制
你；使你感觉更好并不难，难的是你开始能做些什么事来改善你的心绪。
美文赏析:The secrets to happiness 通往幸福的秘密
我们一直在寻找，寻找幸福的密码，走上幸福的阶梯，开启幸福的大门。可是，什么是幸福呢？是腰缠万贯？众星捧月？还是平平淡淡才是真？就让我们一起来解读幸福的秘密吧。
The secrets to happiness
通往幸福的秘密
We all know that money can’t buy happiness … but many times we act as if we
’d be happier with a bit more money. We are conditioned to want to be rich
(when we know the rich aren’t happy either); we are trained to want the
latest gadget or style that television tells us to want; we want to earn more
money because then we’ll have the good life.
我们都知道金钱买不来幸福，但我们都表现出如果我们的钱再多点就会更幸福的样子
。我们习惯于想要变的更有钱(当我们知道富人也并不快乐);在电视看到些最新的玩意儿
或是最潮的风格，我们也想要赚更多的钱因为那样我们将会拥有更好的生活。
But none of that will bring us happiness. No matter how much we earn, no
matter how much we have in the bank, no matter how nice our clothing or cars
or toys, none of it will make us happier. And the sad thing is that it could
take us decades of pursuing wealth and luxury items before we realize this.
但那些都不会带给我们幸福。不管我们挣多少钱，不管我们在银行拥有多少存款，不管
我们的衣服汽车玩具有多好，它们都不会让我们更快乐。令人难过的是在我们明白这一点
之前，它会让我们一直追求财富和奢侈品。
So what will bring us happiness? Luckily, it’s three things that don’t
cost a thing. These three things have been proven by research — surveys of
hundreds of thousands of people about what they have, what their lives are
like, and how happy they are.
那么，究竟什么能带给我们幸福呢?幸运的是，有三样东西，它们不需要花费其他任何。
这三样是被研究证明的——这项研究调查了数以十万的人们，包括他们拥有什么，他们的
生活怎么样以及他们有多快乐。
Here they are, the Three Secrets to Happiness:
那么，下面就是幸福的三个秘密：
1. Good relationships. We have a human need to be close, to be intimate,
with other human beings. Having good, supportive friendships, a strong
marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members will make
us much more likely to be happy.
Action steps: Take time, today, to spend time with your loved ones, to tell
them what they mean to you, to listen to them, and develop your relationship
with them.
1、良好的关系。我们同他人的亲近、亲密是人类的需求。拥有良好的、支持性的友谊
、牢固的婚姻或是同家庭成员紧密有爱的关系会使我们更可能快乐。
动作步骤：今天就花时间同你爱的人在一起，告诉他们他们之于你的意义，倾听他们所
说的，进一步发展同他们的关系。
2. Positive thinking. I’m obviously a big proponent of positive thinking as
the best way to achieve your goals, but it turns out that it can lead to
happiness too. Optimism and self-esteem are some of the best indicators of
people who lead happy lives. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their
lives, and have a positive outlook on life.
Action steps: Make positive thinking a habit. In fact, this should be one of
the first habits you develop. Get into the habit of squashing all negative
thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. Instead of “I can’t” think
“I can”. It may sound corny, but it has worked for me, every time.
2、积极的思考。积极思考是达成你目标的最佳方式，我很显然是这一想法的强烈支持者
，但同时它也能指引你走向幸福。乐观和自尊是快乐生活的人们的最佳写照。快乐的人们
感到充满活力，能够控制他们的生活，同时积极看待生活。
动作步骤：把积极思考培养成习惯。事实上，这应该是你首先培养的习惯之一。养成
粉碎你的负面想法并用积极的想法替代它们的习惯。用“我能”的想法替代“我不能”。
尽管听起来毫无新意，但对我来说每次都很奏效。
3. Flow. This is a popular concept on the Internet these days — the state we
enter when we are completely focused on the work or task before us. We are so
immersed in our task that we lose track of time. Having work and leisure that
gets you in this state of flow will almost undoubtedly lead to happiness.
People find greatest enjoyment not when they’re passively mindless, but when
they’re absorbed in a mindful challenge.
Action steps: Find work that you’re passionate about. Seriously — this is
an extremely important step. Find hobbies that you’re passionate about. Turn
off the TV — this is the opposite of flow — and get outside and do something
that truly engages you.
3、流动。这是最近网络上一个流行的概念——当我们全神贯注于眼前的工作和任务
时我们进入的状态。我们太过沉浸于我们的任务以至于没了时间观念。拥有工作和休闲会
让你出于流动的状态，这几乎毫无疑问会让你幸福。当人们被动地没有意识时不会找寻到
巨大地愉悦感，这种感觉只有当他们专注于挑战时才能获得。
动作步骤：找一份你热爱地工作。这是至关重要地一步。在找一个你有兴趣地爱好。关掉
电视机(这是流动的反面)，走到户外，进行些你能够真正参与进去的活动。
You’ve been given the Three Secrets to Happiness. Don’t waste them!
你已经获得了通往幸福的三个秘密，请不要浪费它们！
Hungry for your love 渴望你的爱
我的心跳急剧加速，我径直地看着拉玛的眼睛，问她，“那个男孩是不是有一天告诉你，‘明天不要给我送苹果了，我要被送到另一个集中营了’？”
“对呀，你怎么知道的。”拉玛的声音有点颤抖，“告诉我，赫尔曼，你到底是怎么知道的啊？”
我抓住她的手说，“因为我就是那个男孩啊，拉玛。”透过时间的面纱，我们认出了那藏在眼睛深处的灵魂，那是我们永远也无法停止爱恋的亲人。最后，我说：“拉玛，我再也不想和你分开了。我想要永远和你在一起。亲爱的，你能嫁给我吗？”
It is cold, so bitter cold, on this dark, winter day in 1942. But it is no different from any other day in this Nazi concentration camp. I stand shivering in my thin rags, still in disbelief that this nightmare is happening. I am just a young boy. I should be playing with friends; I should be going to school; I should be looking forward to a future, to growing up and marrying, and having a family of my own. But those dreams are for the living, and I am no longer one of them. Instead, I am almost dead, surviving from day to day, from hour to hour, ever since I was taken from my home and brought here with tens of thousands other Jews. Will I still be alive tomorrow? Will I be taken to the gas chamber tonight?
Back and forth I walk next to the barbed wire fence, trying to keep my emaciated body warm. I am hungry, but I have been hungry for longer than I want to remember. I am always hungry. Edible food seems like a dream. Each day as more of us disappear, the happy past seems like a mere dream, and I sink deeper and deeper into despair. Suddenly, I notice a young girl walking past on the other side of the barbed wire. She stops and looks at me with sad eyes, eyes that seem to say that she understands, that she, too, cannot fathom why I am here. I want to look away, oddly ashamed for this stranger to see me like this, but I cannot tear my eyes from hers.
Then she reaches into her pocket, and pulls out a red apple. A beautiful, shiny red apple. Oh, how long has it been since I have seen one! She looks cautiously to the left and to the right, and then with a smile of triumph, quickly throws the apple over the fence. I run to pick it up, holding it in my trembling, frozen fingers. In my world of death, this apple is an expression of life, of love. I glance up in time to see the girl disappearing into the distance.
The next day, I cannot help myself-I am drawn at the same time to that spot near the fence. Am I crazy for hoping she will come again? Of course. But in here, I cling to any tiny scrap of hope. She has given me hope and I must hold tightly to it.
And again, she comes. And again, she brings me an apple, flinging it over the fence with that same sweet smile.
This time I catch it, and hold it up for her to see. Her eyes twinkle. Does she pity me? Perhaps. I do not care, though. I am just so happy to gaze at her. And for the first time in so long, I feel my heart move with emotion.
For seven months, we meet like this. Sometimes we exchange a few words. Sometimes, just an apple. But she is feeding more than my belly, this angel from heaven. She is feeding my soul. And somehow, I know I am feeding hers as well.
One day, I hear frightening news: we are being shipped to another camp. This could mean the end for me. And it definitely means the end for me and my friend. The next day when I greet her, my heart is breaking, and I can barely speak as I say what must be said: "Do not bring me an apple tomorrow," I tell her. "I am being sent to another camp. We will never see each other again." Turning before I lose all control, I run away from the fence. I cannot bear to look back. If I did, I know she would see me standing there, with tears streaming down my face.
Months pass and the nightmare continues. But the memory of this girl sustains me through the terror, the pain, the hopelessness. Over and over in my mind, I see her face, her kind eyes, I hear her gentle words, I taste those apples.
And then one day, just like that, the nightmare is over. The war has ended. Those of us who are still alive are freed. I have lost everything that was precious to me, including my family. But I still have the memory of this girl, a memory I carry in my heart and gives me the will to go on as I move to America to start a new life. Years pass. It is 1957. I am living in New York City. A friend convinces me to go on a blind date with a lady friend of his. Reluctantly, I agree. But she is nice, this woman named Roma. And like me, she is an immigrant, so we have at least that in common.
"Where were you during the war?" Roma asks me gently, in that delicate way immigrants ask one another questions about those years.
"I was in a concentration camp in Germany," I reply.
Roma gets a far away look in her eyes, as if she is remembering something painful yet sweet.
"What is it?" I ask.
"I am just thinking about something from my past, Herman," Roma explains in a voice suddenly very soft. "You see, when I was a young girl, I lived near a concentration camp. There was a boy there, a prisoner, and for a long while, I used to visit him every day. I remember I used to bring him apples. I would throw the apple over the fence, and he would be so happy."
Roma sighs heavily and continues. "It is hard to describe how we felt about each other-after all, we were young, and we only exchanged a few words when we could-but I can tell you, there was much love there. I assume he was killed like so many others. But I cannot bear to think that, and so I try to remember him as he was for those months we were given together."
With my heart pounding so loudly I think it wil1 explode, I look directly at Roma and ask, "And did that boy say to you one day, 'Do not bring me an apple tomorrow. I am being sent to another camp'?"
"Why, yes," Roma responds, her voice trembling.
"But, Herman, how on earth could you possibly know that?"
I take her hands in mine and answer, "Because I was that young boy, Roma."
For many moments, there is only silence. We cannot take our eyes from each other, and as the veils of time lift, we recognize the soul behind the eyes, the dear friend we once loved so much, whom we have never stopped loving, whom we have never stopped remembering.
Finally, I speak: "Look, Roma, I was separated from you once, and I don't ever want to be separated from you again. Now, I am free, and I want to be together with you forever. Dear, will you marry me?"
I see that same twinkle in her eye that I used to see as Roma says, "Yes, I will marry you," and we embrace, the embrace we longed to share for so many months, but barbed wire came between us. Now, nothing ever will again.
Almost forty years have passed since that day when I found my Roma again. Destiny brought us together the first time during the war to show me a promise of hope and now it had reunited us to fulfill that promise.
Valentine's Day, 1996. I bring Roma to the Oprah Winfrey Show to honor her on national television. I want to tell her in front of millions of people what I feel in my heart every day:
"Darling, you fed me in the concentration camp when I was hungry. And I am still hungry, for something I will never get enough of: I am only hungry for your love."